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Falling
3 min read
"I've finally lost it," she thought.
When there's nowhere to go but within, what else could that be called besides "losing it"?
She closed her eyes and found herself to be in a cave. Not the kind of caves people think of where slime and creatures reside, more of a small opening where she could fit perfectly if she curled up. If she were to imagine a cold, hard floor beneath her it was because her subconscious thought that's what she deserved... there was no hard floor though, only soft sand.
"If only I could stay here forever," she thought. But she knew it was impossible, this was not the right place for her to be.
She closed her eyes and found herself floating on her back...perhaps in water. It did not matter what kind of water or the amount because this was her own mind and if she was going to be floating, she wouldn't be seeing the edges of her seascape anyways. But floating she could look at the sky and marvel at how it seems so close and so far away at the same time. At night the stars were so bright that it was like she could grab them right out of the sky as if they were fireflies. During the day when the sun peaked out behind the clouds, it made her think of what heaven must look like if one even existed. But still, this was not where she was supposed to be. She took a deep breath, said goodbye to the sky, and sank.
She closed her eyes and found herself sitting on the edge of a cliff. It was a surreal experience to be able to look down at nothing and to look across at nothing and even all around at nothing. She thought her cliff would be like the one in the roadrunner cartoon, where there was that iconic mini river flowing at the very bottom.. but she was not Wile E Cayote and so that cliff was not meant for her. She curled up to the edge like she did in her cave and ran her fingers over the rocks that formed the edge. she rolled onto her back like when she was floating but there was no sky here, the sky would not help her now. Something was missing and it was eating away at her, there was somewhere else she was supposed to be.
She closed her eyes and remembered.
She opened her eyes and expected to be exactly where she needed to be.. but she wasn't. She was still on the cliff, looking up at the nothingness that was assumed to be sky. Her heart became heavy as she realized the truth, she could only go to that place in her mind and even then it was too weak to hold onto. With a deep breath, a tear, and a sad smile she rolled towards the edge.
She closed her eyes and she remembered, love.
When there's nowhere to go but within, what else could that be called besides "losing it"?
She closed her eyes and found herself to be in a cave. Not the kind of caves people think of where slime and creatures reside, more of a small opening where she could fit perfectly if she curled up. If she were to imagine a cold, hard floor beneath her it was because her subconscious thought that's what she deserved... there was no hard floor though, only soft sand.
"If only I could stay here forever," she thought. But she knew it was impossible, this was not the right place for her to be.
She closed her eyes and found herself floating on her back...perhaps in water. It did not matter what kind of water or the amount because this was her own mind and if she was going to be floating, she wouldn't be seeing the edges of her seascape anyways. But floating she could look at the sky and marvel at how it seems so close and so far away at the same time. At night the stars were so bright that it was like she could grab them right out of the sky as if they were fireflies. During the day when the sun peaked out behind the clouds, it made her think of what heaven must look like if one even existed. But still, this was not where she was supposed to be. She took a deep breath, said goodbye to the sky, and sank.
She closed her eyes and found herself sitting on the edge of a cliff. It was a surreal experience to be able to look down at nothing and to look across at nothing and even all around at nothing. She thought her cliff would be like the one in the roadrunner cartoon, where there was that iconic mini river flowing at the very bottom.. but she was not Wile E Cayote and so that cliff was not meant for her. She curled up to the edge like she did in her cave and ran her fingers over the rocks that formed the edge. she rolled onto her back like when she was floating but there was no sky here, the sky would not help her now. Something was missing and it was eating away at her, there was somewhere else she was supposed to be.
She closed her eyes and remembered.
She opened her eyes and expected to be exactly where she needed to be.. but she wasn't. She was still on the cliff, looking up at the nothingness that was assumed to be sky. Her heart became heavy as she realized the truth, she could only go to that place in her mind and even then it was too weak to hold onto. With a deep breath, a tear, and a sad smile she rolled towards the edge.
She closed her eyes and she remembered, love.
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.
1 min read
Oh sweetheart, I wish you could see how my eyes light up when you tell me you love me,
and sweetheart I wish you could feel the way my heart beats fast when you look at me in that way.
Sweetheart, I can promise you that the number of stars in the sky could never amount to the number of times I've thought about you.
I send you love every night before I go to bed and I imagine that my love travels the many miles that stands in between us.
Sweetheart, I've never loved anyone like I love you,
please know you hold my heart in the palm of your hands...
And sweetheart, I only ask that you treat it well.
and sweetheart I wish you could feel the way my heart beats fast when you look at me in that way.
Sweetheart, I can promise you that the number of stars in the sky could never amount to the number of times I've thought about you.
I send you love every night before I go to bed and I imagine that my love travels the many miles that stands in between us.
Sweetheart, I've never loved anyone like I love you,
please know you hold my heart in the palm of your hands...
And sweetheart, I only ask that you treat it well.
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Devious Journal Entry
1 min read
where do you go for things like love and affection when the person who used to give those things to you is out of reach?
my cat will have to do.
Hello My Name Was
Babeh.
my cat will have to do.
Hello My Name Was
Babeh.
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My own fault
1 min read
i've always prided myself in being tough and independent and sometimes i screw myself over because of it. people expect me to take care of myself and that's how i like it; i take care of myself and everyone else and that's the way it's always been. every once in a while though, for just a moment, i stop being able to take care of myself and i can't pick myself back up after i fall... but i've realized now that when there's no one there to notice that i need help, no one there to take care of me, it's not their fault, it's mine.
it still hurts though.
it still hurts though.
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